Name: Molly Sabido
Identity: Panromantic, asexual spectrum
Background: I was born and raised in Rochester NY where my whole family is from. Growing up I always wanted to be in medicine because I’m passionate about human connection and the human body. As soon as I researched the PA profession I knew it was a perfect fit; it is versatile, allows me a wonderful work/life balance, and provides abundant opportunities to learn and grow every day. I went to PA school at D’Youville College in Buffalo, NY and now I work at a community hospital back home in Rochester. Outside of work I love to draw, hike, sing, and spend as much time as possible with my friends and family.
Profession: Physician Assistant
Area of practice: Hospital medicine
What does being out in healthcare means to you?: I am a person who is proud to display rainbows on my ID badge and my identity in the queer community isn’t something I shy away from, especially at work. I truly believe that love is love, and this openness is something I talk about often and freely. I don’t hold myself back from ignorant people, instead leaning into my queer identity as a tool to educate. I am living proof that kindness and compassion can exist within any body. I have had coworkers thank me for breaking down their own stereotypes about queer folx. I have had patients thank me for creating a safe space to relax and be themselves in an otherwise scary and unfamiliar environment. I am fortunate to be a feminine, straight passing cis woman and I recognize the ease at which I can walk through the world. It is my hope that by gently challenging people’s preconceived notions someday everyone in the queer community will be met with love and acceptance, no matter their identity or outward presentation.
What is one thing everyone should know about your identity?: We ace (asexual) folx don’t get a lot of attention! This is a new area of my identity that I’ve recently been exploring and coming to terms with. Even writing this gives me some anxiety but the more asexuality is talked about, the more normal it becomes, the more people will understand it and maybe even recognize it within themselves. One important thing to know is that asexuality really is a spectrum and people experience it very differently. For me, being asexual and panromantic means I experience romantic attraction to people of all genders, and I very rarely experience sexual attraction (this is where the spectrum comes in). Sex is the least interesting and stimulating part of a relationship; I just don’t get much out of it. I still enjoy physical intimacy, but mostly because it facilitates emotional intimacy. I’m still capable of loving, fulfilling romantic relationships built on solid communication and clear expectations. For a long time I saw my asexuality as something that needed to be fixed or worked through, and it caused a lot of inner turmoil. But I’m finally learning that it is a beautiful part of my identity and something to embrace, not hide from!
How do you feel when your identity is included?: Historically, the media overwhelmingly acknowledges gay, straight, and bisexual. Lately, it seems like more shows/movies mention pansexuality (Schitts Creek) which is gratifying because it makes me feel really seen and it also makes “pan” a more commonly recognized concept (no, I’m not attracted to skillets or bread). Asexuality however doesn’t get much recognition so my expectations are usually really low when I’m consuming media, and whenever it’s included it’s a lovely little treat. I recently watched a show on Netflix called Sex Education (WATCH IT) and when they had a subplot about an asexual girl I legitimately cried. Generally, I do think we have a lot of work to do in recognizing sexual and romantic attraction are very separate for some people.
What does “taking up space” mean to you?: Simple. This means I can freely be myself in any room I walk into. When I picture myself taking up space I am not minimizing myself. I am proud to be queer regardless of who is in that room with me. Even in situations where people might not understand me, I stay true to myself. I wear that rainbow on my badge and show it off rather that hide.
What is one piece of advice that I would give to healthcare workers who aren’t sure how to honor the identities of their patients?: Most of my coworkers understand and acknowledge my identity because it revolves around who I date. However, some of them still really struggle with understanding trans/non-binary/non-conforming folx and honoring pronouns or addressing sexuality is uncomfortable for them. My advice is this: when it comes to gender identity, a patient’s pronouns aren’t up to you, they are up to the patient. Your job as a healthcare worker is to create safe spaces for patients where they feel comfortable and taken care of, not further isolated by ignorance. Using correct pronouns is an extremely simple way to facilitate a sense of safety and trust. In regards to sexuality, if you aren’t comfortable addressing this topic, then don’t bring it up, just be a kind human and let someone else be a queer ally. If you absolutely have to bring it up because it’s relevant to your job, then do it in a neutral, non-judgmental way please.
Has your identity influenced healthcare that you have received?: Fortunately, no!